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What Exactly Is A Dream. [entries|friends|calendar]
So This Is Your Maverick?

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[10 Jul 2013|10:25pm]
No words can describe how angry, disappointed, naive, lost, and lonely I feel right now. Apparently I'm a little dramatic at times like these, but if you were a true friend to me then you'd know why I feel this way. I am so f-ing stupid for thinking someday there might be a ring on my finger and that this weekend things actually changed for the better. HUGE slap to the face.. wow.. Never letting feelings get involved ever again. P.S. plllleeeassee try to tell me some ridiculous reason why I feel the way I feel again. As if I'd seriously be this upset over you being sick. Go fuck yourself. It's not all about you; it's not about you being sick and wanting to go to bed at all. It's about your fucking word isn't worth shit.
Comments: ++.

[02 May 2013|12:10am]
[ mood | hurt ]

I love him. So much. Don't know what to do. He won't let me in. It's been over three years. I put myself out there time and time again and just get rejected and unappreciated. Is it worth it? I need to know there is something on his end.. effort coming from him. SOMETHING. I'm so done; but I love him so much... I just want to help and feel loved... feel wanted. Appreciated.

Comments: ++.

[24 Mar 2013|01:07pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Very annoyed with my relationship with Tyler.. he's a jerk so much of the time I don't know if I can handle it anymore. We got into a huge fight last night and I did some things I regret, but he hasn't treated me any differently. I just want to talk things through so we can overcome our issues, but he just get mad after I say two words and gets loud with me. Ugghh..


Read more...Collapse )

Comments: ++.

[04 Jan 2012|01:28pm]
Test Your Reflex+The Burning Hour
Comments: ++.

Bands I've (re)discovered.. [23 May 2011|05:10pm]

- Relient K
- Embrace
- Jets to Brazil
- Jawbreaker
Comments: ++.

Lyrics and quotes. [22 Apr 2008|08:35pm]

You can throw four letters at me all you like, it won't change what's wrong from what's right.
Hold your heart courageously as we walk into this dark place.
Deeper I'm falling into the arms of sorrow.
I won't mistake you for problems with me.
I'm sure I could be the one for you. And we together would make the perfect two.
You can throw four letters at me all you like, it won't change what's wrong from what's right.
I just have to wander through this world alone.
I don't need a better thing, I'll settle for less.
The more I know, the less I understand.
I won't take everything good and move it away.
All the fears never voiced say you have to make your final choice.
I wanna find what lies behind those eyes.
Remember what peace there may be in silence.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
Gravity cannot be responsible for people falling in love.
Indulge in the things you truly love.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
It rips my life away but it's a great escape.
Take life less seriously.
The days are all empty and the nights are unreal.
Is your love real or only fun?
They say there's gold but I'm looking for thrills.
Love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
I have slipped into the very depths of my soul.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
A photograph is a secret about a secret; the more it tells you, the less you know.
Science is organized knowledge, wisdom is organized life.
Heartbreaker, your time has come. Can't take your evil ways.
It's scary, I know, to understand what must be done.
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless.
Enjoy the little things in life.
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
I've got two good eyes, but I still feel so blind sometimes.
I know now that I'm way down on your line.
Grab ahold of your attention like a theif at the park.
Don't worry about a think cuz every little thing is gonna be alright.
All my dreams are on the ground.
Stolen moments floating softly on the air.
Maybe a little drink will take the edge off.
I stayed at home remaining true while you do what you wanted to do.
If we bend instead of break, the choice for us is to make it together.
Behind the smile, theres danger and a promise to be told.
She's the kind of girl you dream of, dream of keeping hold of.
Comments: ++.

[22 Mar 2008|08:02pm]

oh you, not you, no way not again,
can't trust you, love you, not like i did,
confused little kid on the inside right,
bruised up past, it's a hard knock life,
alright, i'll give you this one chance,
step light on a floor that's got broken glass,
see a shard in your heal, how does it feel,
must sting and burn to know, what's real,
you can throw 4 letters at me, all you like,
it won't change what's wrong from, what's right,
the past few weeks were nice, i won't lie,
these branches have thorns and they're hard to climb,
i need to stay here, at the bottom with my friends,
you're wreckless, selfish, admit what you did,
there's plenty out there that'll spell it correctly,
today i leave you unlike the day you left me,

go on, move on, there's another one,
and another one,
and another one,
give me one reason i should stop breathin'
for this one, no not for this one,

theres another one and you make it so hard
my reason for breathin in sixteen bars
with your hand bag heart thats that louis v leather
i tried to get inside but the rain was much better
pulled the weeds planted seeds thinkin this would grow
but i'm done playin johnny appleseed role
but to be honest it was hard to give up
lies before trust love between lust thats us
and we both know it was hard lettin go
even from afar i could see you can't stay a float
your my favorite joke and the punchline kills
you know, the one about not knowin how love true feels
if its dog eat dog i'll stick with kibbles and bits
cuz i never really like the taste of straight up bitch
your falling with no rescue now
you could cry me river i hope you dumb ass drowns

social butterfly pumpin up so high,
flappin gums and lungs, just to get by,
step up on a soapbox, megaphone grip,
heart locked to a chain, hangin from her neck,
that kind of bling can stay in videos,
on movie screens and fictional dreams,
not everything is always how it seems,
that's true about you, that's true about me,
Comments: ++.

[18 Mar 2008|10:34pm]

I just watched Pay It Forward. Soo sad.=(

"The most important thing I can add from my own observations is this: Knowing it started from unremarkable circumstances should be a comfort to us all. Because it proves that you don't need much to change the entire world for the better. You can start with the most ordinary ingredients. You can start with the world you've got."

"Some people are too scared or something to think things can be different. The world's not exactly...shit. I guess it's hard for some people who are so use to things the way they are-even if they're bad- to change and they kinda give up and when they do, everybody loses."
Comments: ++.

[29 Feb 2008|12:52am]
Pay It Forward
Comments: ++.

[14 Feb 2008|10:12pm]

The dreamer who finds his way by moonlight sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.



Everything dies, baby that's a fact. Maybe everything that dies someday comes back.
Comments: ++.

[28 Oct 2007|06:29pm]

I don't understand why guys go after the weak. As if strength is a turn off.
Like oh, the girl can't stand up for herself.. sweet. The second she doesn't take his shit, he's done with her.
Guys are fucking weird.
Comments: ++.

[05 Oct 2007|07:26pm]
[ mood | calm ]

As soon as you're born you start dyin' so you might as well have a good time!
Comments: 1 - ++.

Gym Class Heroes. [15 Sep 2007|09:26pm]


So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now

We bring ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
We'll shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it
Comments: ++.

[15 Sep 2007|04:35pm]


Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (the very first).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someones face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.


Comments: ++.

[08 Sep 2007|11:42am]

A well-known speaker
started off his seminar by:

holding up a $20.00
bill. In the room of 200, he asked,
"Who would like this
$20 bill?"

Hands started going up.


He said, "I am going to give this
$20 to one of you

but first, let me
do this.
He
proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.


He then asked, "Who
still wants it?"

Still the hands
were up in the air.

Well, he
replied, "What if I do this?"

And he
dropped it on the ground

and started
to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.


"Now, who still wants it?"


Still the hands went into the air.


My friends, we have all learned a
very valuable lesson.

No matter what
I did to the money, you still wanted it

because it did not decrease in value.


It was still worth $20.


Many times in our lives,


we are dropped, crumpled, and ground
into the dirt

by the decisions we
make and

the circumstances that come
our way.

We feel as though we are
worthless.

But no matter what has
happened or

what will happen, you
will never lose your value.

Dirty or
clean, crumpled or finely creased,

you are still
priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our
lives comes not in what we do or who we know,


but by WHO WE ARE and
WHOSE WE ARE.


You are
special
-
Don't EVER forget it."

Comments: 4 - ++.

[14 Aug 2007|12:40pm]
[ mood | curious ]


I officially have one week.
I really hope it works.

I officially have two weeks.
Not sure if I want it to work.


I feel I have not accomplished anything this summer.
Comments: ++.

[14 Jan 2007|05:43pm]

Monday.1.15: Eric. Work 6-10pm.
Tuesday.1.16: Eric for a little.
Wednesday.1.17: Work 3-6pm.
Thursday.1.18: Eric! A Scanner Darkly. Strange. Oh! And Rockem' Sockem' Robots.. Hahah.
Friday.1.19: Eric. Ken's. Shane's. Didn't get to bed until about 6am.
Saturday.1.20: Ken's. Eric. Zack, Ryan. Basketball.
Sunday.1.21: Amandas? Work 5-10pm.

Comments: ++.

You're Missing When I See The Sun Rise. [13 Jun 2006|11:18pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]


.. Why does it always have to be like this?
I need to talk to somebody, but I can't explain what I need to talk about.
I don't think it'd even make a difference if I did talk to somebody.
Summer can't come soon enough.
<33


I can't stop thinking about it. Why can't it just work itself out. I really hate thinking about this. What the outcomes would be if I did this different, that different. I just really hate it. I don't think it'll ever be normal again. Maybe they were right..
Comments: ++.

[11 Jun 2006|09:21pm]

"The only thing worse than losing the one thing that you love. Is having the one thing that you love turned into everything that you fucking hate."
Comments: 4 - ++.

[08 May 2006|10:41pm]
[ mood | curious ]


I dare you...
to tell me the truth..

Six things you wonder about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Five things you like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Four things you don't like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.

Three of my best features
1.
2.
3.

Two words that describe me
1.
2.

One question for me (ask away, i will answer honestly)
1.

Comments: ++.

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